I meant to post this a couple weeks ago, but, well, September has just flown by…
I went to the Brooklyn Book Festival yesterday, which once again confirmed how much hipsters annoy me. But I didn’t have any cash with me and I was mostly just hanging out with a visiting friend, so. Anyway, I did see one guy, probably the author, selling a book called It’s Just a Plant: A Story About Marijuana for Children.
Now, ok, I agree the drug laws in this country are beyond ridiculous, but it’s not exactly the hill I want to die on, and I don’t want the future, hypothetical fruit of my loins to die on it either. But that’s neither here nor there, as I’ve been amusing myself by making up the rest of the story:
“Sometimes, when a mommy and daddy are really stressed or bored, they might like to toke up. And that’s OK! Unlike vodka or crack, marijuana is a plant! That means it’s all-natural and good for you!”
“If you find the ends of roaches or empty baggies around the house, remember: throw them away! You never know who might be raiding your house next.”
“When people smoke marijuana, they get high. And then they get ‘the munchies.’ This means they want to eat! Make sure you have snack food out or the pizza delivery guy on speed dial before you smoke up.”
“And always remember, kids — don’t spill the bong water!”
Other books in the series:
It’s Just a Tap: A Children’s Story About Cruising for Sex
It’s Just a Van: A Story About Cruising for Children
What Did Sherlock Holmes and Sigmund Freud Have in Common: Cocaine Through the Years
perhaps a history series:
Slaves for God: Saving the Dark Continent
Get With the Pogrom! Ethnic Cleansing for Young & Old
Dragons Really Do Exist! A Child’s Introduction to the Klan
0 responses so far ↓
There are no comments yet...Kick things off by filling out the form below.