One more thing

One reason why it sucks having roommates is that when all you want is to curl up and cry and drink some more red wine, this is when your roommate comes home with a girl. And luckily, your rooms share a wall. Lovely.

How to Break Up in the 21st Century

Step 1:

Delete his phone number from your cell phone. This is so you won’t be tempted to drunk dial him at 4 in the morning. Although you have his number memorized, hopefully the extra step of having to dial the number will bring you to your senses.

Step 2:

Delete his friends from your cell phone. Won’t be calling them again. Feel sad about some of them.

Step 3:

Feel relief that you will never have to pretend to get along with his annoying friend who never has two intelligent words to put together and has the tact and social grace of a gnat. Freely admit you think she’s a bubble-headed twit.

Step 4:

Call mom from cell phone. Cry.

Step 5:

Go to the liquor store. If a nerdy, socially awkward guy notices you crying among the cabernets, tell him you just broke up with someone. Tell him it’s ok, but thanks for offering to talk about it. Wonder if that was sweet, weird, or a pick-up.

Step 6:

Think that you are so not ready to be picked-up. Wonder when the ex as of an hour ago will. Tell yourself not to think about it.

Step 7:

Erase his posts on your facebook page. Think about un-friending him, but hold off for now.

Step 8:

Delete pictures of him from your online picture hosting site.

Step 9:

Call a friend. Get voicemail. Cry. Call another friend.

Step 10:

Throw the pictures, jewelry, ticket stubs, and other detritus of a relationship into a box. Consider burning it. Throw it in the back of the closet for now.

Step 11:

Go to work and IM friends all day.

Step 12:

Delete old emails. Try not to read them.

Step 13:

Cry.

Step 14:

Go home and find a few more pictures to delete.

Step 15:

Remember that he’d fixed your ipod last week, and it’s still at his apartment. Dammit. No way you’re going to email him to get it back.

Step 16:

Blog. Wonder if he’ll read this. Decide not to think about it…too much.

Step 17:

Wait for it to stop hurting.