Whip It Good. Whip It Real Good. Real, Real, Real Good.

First of all, is it whip cream or whipped cream?

Secondly, I’m getting increasingly concerned about New Roommate’s (I have to come up with some kind of nom de web) whip/ped cream use. As of Monday, there were two cans of soy whip cream in the fridge. This is a departure from her usual non-fat no-sugar whip cream. (For the record, Redi-Whip Original Whip Cream has 15 calories and 1.5 grams of fat per serving, which is about two tablespoons.)

I’ve also been wondering how, exactly, whipped cream can be fat free, since whipped cream is made when air bubbles become trapped between fat particles. It actually makes me queasy when I think about this too much. It’s like a rip in the time-space continuum or something.

As of yesterday, there is now one can left. That makes at least five cans of whip cream in the last month. I have my food vices like everyone else, and last night’s dinner was Haagen-Daz and a beer. But you have to admit that’s a lot of whip cream.

I can only speculate that she either:

a) has a whippit addiction
b) has a whip cream kink (PSA: In my former life as a college sex columnist, I advised my Dear Readers to avoid whip cream festivities. It’s impossible to get that spoiled milk stank out of the sheets.)
c) has an eating disorder and eats whip cream instead of real food
0r d) just really, really likes whip cream

But in any case, I can’t imagine soy whip cream tasting anything but gross.